Posted 10:27 AM by Sean
What in God's name is going on in the South Side of Chicago? Forget it, I already know the answer: they're bored, stupid, frustrated, and drunk.

I lived in Chicago for ten years, and when to White Sox and Cubs games in about equal measure. While folks at Wrigley are harmless, if not particularly well-informed, there's a much higher jackass-to-legitimate-fan ratio at Comiskey, and the jackasses stand out much more because the attendance is so much lower. You know who they are - the guys who'll scream at players hundreds of feet away, who have no chance at all of hearing them, for the purpose of "entertaining" the fans around them. Let me tell you: if you do that, you are not funny. You are a jackass. If you scream "BALK!" every time the opposing pitcher steps off the rubber, you are a jackass. If you remain standing while the ball is in play without checking to see if you're blocking anyone's view, you are a jackass. If you lean over the wall to grab a fair ground ball hit down the line, you are a jackass.

And if you run out onto the field, unless you have the guts to do it naked, you are a jackass. Naked is funny. Not naked = JACKASS.

Obviously, people who run out onto the field to assault someone need to be kicked in the jimmy and put in jail, with or without clothes.