Purgatory Online

Thursday, June 30, 2005

As the rest of the universe knows by now, Texas pitcher and noted tragic figure Kenny Rogers followed up his wildly successful debut hissy fit by throwing another yesterday, in which he assaulted a couple of cameramen, threw one camera to the ground and kicked it, and had to be led back into the clubhouse by catcher Rod Barajas. Video of the merry event can be found here.

According to at least one account, cameraman Larry Rodriguez was taken from the scene on a stretcher, which seems pretty absurd from the video, but I guess you gotta establish that pain and suffering, right, Larry?

Not to get all pop-psychology or anything, but it seems pretty clear to me that Mr. Rogers wants a new neighborhood. He's been seething all year long about a contract extension, his pitching-poor team just lost their opening day starter through a boneheaded roster move, and they've been playing badly enough to fall 8.5 games back. So I'm thinking this is your typical cry for help via self-destructive behavior, a belief reinforced when I heard the Rangers radio guys recount a discussion in which Texas GM John Hart quoted Rogers as saying the team "needed to distance themselves from him." The undercurrent to the conversation seemed to be that the Rangers would almost certainly be exploring trade options.

Of course, no team would be foolish enough to trade for Rogers without knowing what his suspension (if any) is going to be, so it will likely be a matter of days or weeks before anything happens. If I had to guess, though, I'd say about four NL East GMs just sat up and started beating their tails on the floor like dogs who've just seen you take Frosty Paws out of the freezer.