Purgatory Online

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

So I went out of town for the weekend, and saw none of the Saturday or Sunday losses to Tampa Bay. And now, the sky has fallen yet again, we're all doomed, season over, etc., etc.

I have nothing to say about this that I haven't said before. You can keep the faith or try hedging your bets, so that if your team doesn't win you at least get the satisfaction of saying "I told you so." If that's your style, be my guest; I understand football season begins anon. For myself, I prefer at times like these to recall the words of Samuel Adams:

If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.

And in that spirit, I present to you the entire list of unbelievable, catastrophically improbable occurences that must transpire for the Angels to regain first place:
  1. They have to win tonight.

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