Purgatory Online

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Herewith my hopes and fears for the 2005 Angels lineup, entirely in the form of Futurama quotes:

Chone Figgins, 2B - "I'll be whatever I wanna do."

Darin Erstad, 1B - "This show's been going downhill since season three."

Garret Anderson, LF - "What's that you're hacking off? Is it my torso? It is! My precious torso!"

Vlad Guerrero, RF - "Stop! Stop! If you interrupt the mating dance the male will become enraged and maul us with his fearsome gonad!"

Steve Finley, CF - "There were plenty of times in my century when I was going to give up, but I never did. Never. Hey, are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up."

Jeff DaVanon, DH - "Crazy theories one, regular theories a billion."

Dallas McPherson, 3B - "I can't wait until I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff."

Bengie Molina, C - "That's no flying saucer! That's my ass!"

Orlando Cabrera, SS - "Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip down and get on the probulator."